Stop Hanging Out and Start Asking Out

Oct 02, 2017

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Hey Brother,

The modern, single Christian woman has it rough. She meets a single Christian guy who is “super sweet,” he seeks her out and talks to her every day after church, and after weeks of back and forth he finally asks for her phone number. Then she finds out it was to invite her to a study group. Now there is nothing wrong with that, but in the secular world, a guy being nice to a girl and asking for her number is a clear sign he’s interested in her. But in Christian communities…well, there are a lot of mixed signals that come across in modern Christian courtship, and, Brother, it’s our fault.

Christian single men, it’s time to start being intentional about dating!

Now the Bible doesn’t mention dating specifically (if I’m wrong, please post in the comments below), it simply was not a prominent part of the culture back then. However, the Bible’s lessons apply to all aspects of our life, even romance. James 1:8 tells us that, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” This applies to faith in the context of James 1, but it also applies to how women perceive you. If you are interested in dating a woman, she should know it. She shouldn’t have to guess your intentions. How will she know? Well, it’s really quite simple…

Tell her!

Do it with your voice, in person, or on the phone. Don’t text, don’t Instagram, don’t snap chat, or tweet her. And, by all means, don’t just hang out with her and hope she gets the hint.

Not only is that not manly, it’s inappropriate. Get to know her in a group, and when you think you are interested in going on a date with her, then ask her out. Don’t pine away for her, planning your future together, before you’ve even made your intentions known and had a meal together. Being intentional will not only be better for her heart, it will be better for yours as well.

In Amos 3:3 God says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Now in context, God is using this analogy to explain how he communicates with his prophets, but the importance of communication is clearly evident. If people need to agree to even walk together, how much more do they need to communicate and agree to date each other?

Now, I get it, being direct is not exactly the cultural norm nowadays. However, women will respect you for it. No one likes playing the dating game. No one likes being confused about a guy’s or girl’s intentions. I’ve seen far too many guys agonizing endlessly over a single text, wondering what a girl meant by it. If they were direct with the girl, maybe they’d get a direct response back.

“But, but, but, what if she says no?” you may ask. Well, then it’s a no. But a question never asked will never be anything but a no. All men need to learn to deal with rejection, both in relationships and in life. Remember you are not defined by who you are dating, your spouse, or your job. You are defined by your fantasy football league. Just kidding, I wanted to make sure you were paying attention. We are, of course, defined by our relationship with Christ!

Ephesians 5:23 tells us that as men we are called to be the head of our wives and families like Christ is the head of the church. So, remember, Christ called the church. He didn’t wait for the church to call Him!

Do you have any verses you think apply to dating? Are you married and have tips for our single brothers? Please, share them in the comments below!

Kristopher Galuska

Family Radio Staff

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