A Godly Mom in an Ungodly World

Aug 29, 2016
Doug Keppel

Titus 2:1-5
“But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”.

INTRODUCTION:

Motherhood was established by God as a part of His perfect plan for humanity. Motherhood was not an afterthought but it was a divine intention from before the beginning of time.

The Ministry of being a Mom is one of the toughest assignments God ever gave anybody!
She has to be as insightful as a psychologist, tough as a marine corps drill instructor, gentle as a nurse. She has to be a labor and management negotiator, a teacher, an electrician, a plumber and a carpenter. It requires an endless supply of energy, a massive amount of patience, an iron will, and recognition of the fact that if she ever gets sick, she’s got to get well before the end of the school day.

Yes, the Ministry of being a Mom is very important. 600 college students were asked to write down the most beautiful word in the English language. 422 of them wrote the word “mother”.

Almost every day in the news, we hear about many of the wicked mothers who do evil things, but I believe most people have good mothers who do their best. We know that no mother is perfect and motherhood is no easy job.
While our culture spins out of control and the family unit breaks down, the Bible lifts up the family and exalts the place of the woman in the family.
 Motherhood is a ministry. It is a ministry of teaching, of preparing children to follow God’s pathways, and being an example of the love of Jesus.

Dr. Grace Ketterman, M.D., wrote:
 ”Mothering has been derogated by women in this and recent decades. Competing with men has become a cause. The glamour and materialism of a career have deceptively out glittered the often drab and even drudgery-laden tasks of bearing and nurturing the lives of children. … Perhaps the most urgent need of our era is the restoration of the high value of godly mothering. … Those of us who cherish biblical values must teach and practice them consistently. Those of us who are mothers must see that responsibility as a high privilege.”

The Bible says in Proverbs 31:30-31–“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates”.
  
Titus here speaks of the value of the older women as being a living example of the Christian life so that they might teach and instruct the younger woman of the ways of a godly woman.

Right living and right teaching always goes hand in hand.

Titus ministered in a pagan environment. He ministered in Crete where his converts had been saved out of a background in violence, dishonesty, and immorality.
 The Christian Women were trying to be godly, but they were living in a supremely ungodly society. So Titus exhorted the older women to teach and to train the young women in the noble, excellent, and beautiful things of life.

The older women were to teach the younger how to be godly mothers in an ungodly world.
Could I tell you that we need that today just as much as (the Cretians) did.

It may be difficult, but it is still possible to be a godly mother in an ungodly world.

These verses present several principles and insights toward that purpose:

I.  THE OLDER WOMEN ARE TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS. (Vs 3)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

The first and best way that the older women can teach the younger women is by being a good example.

            A. The Older Women Are To Be Examples In Behavior.
They are to behave in a way that is becoming to women of holiness.
That is, they are to show themselves different and set apart in purity of behavior and thought. They are to live and move about in a spirit of holiness and be focused upon sacred things.

            B. The Older Women Are To Be Examples In Speech.
               It says they are not to be false accusers. This means they are not to be slanderers, talebearers, or gossipers. They are not to go about talking about others, stirring up mischief and strife.

            C. The Older Women Are To Be Examples In Sobriety.

            D.The Older Women Are To Be Examples In Teaching.
              In order to teach right, you need to have been taught right at some point.

The older women are to be teachers of good things.
This refers to ministry in the home. They are to live such godly lives that they teach by their very example and testimony within the home. This includes teaching the young women how to live for Christ in a sinful and corruptible world.

These character qualities were quite different than what was common among the Cretans. Could I say that they are not very common in our culture either.

II.  THE OLDER WOMEN ARE TO TEACH THE RIGHT THINGS. (Vs 3-4)
             A. Teach The Younger Women To Be Sober.
This word “sober” means temperate and moderate. It is the opposite of over-indulgence in anything such as eating, drinking, recreation, or whatever else.

            B. Teach The Younger Women To Love Their Husbands.
That may seem strange to us to teach a younger woman to “love their husbands” Or, that a woman can be taught or can learn to love her husband for that matter.

In our society, we do things a little differently. Typically, we “fall in love” and then get married. Back in these days the marriage came first and had nothing to do with love.

                 So, women were to be taught to love their husbands.
      
The word used here for love (phileo) actually stresses affection, care, tenderness, warmth, and feelings. The young wife is to have affection for her husband.

            C. Teach The Younger Women To Love Their Children. (Vs. 4)
Psalms 127:3–“Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. ”
                        What does it mean to Love your children?
                        Loving our children does not mean giving them everything they want.
Loving our children does not mean making sure that they keep up with the world. Loving our children does not mean allowing them to do whatever they want.

Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall in their book, “What Every Child Needs” listed nine basic needs a child has and how they can be met in the language of love.
                         1. Security: a hold-me-close love
2. Affirmation: a crazy-about-me love
                         3. Belonging: a fit-me-into the family love
                         4. Discipline: a give-me-limits love
                         5. Guidance: show-me-and-tell-me love
                         6. Respect: a let-me-be love
                         7. Play: a play-with-me love
                         8. Independence: a let-me-grow-up love
                         9. Hope: a give-me-hope love

Only God’s love supercedes the love of a mother. The greatest priority in the home should be to love. Success in the home is never gauged by the incoming of money and stuff, but by love. The greatest success story in the home is that we love one another.
            1 John 4:7-8–“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

Contrary to popular assumptions God doesn’t give children to us for our pleasure, although kids can be great fun, and can provide us with wonderful emotional fulfillment. God gives us children and entrusts them to us so that we may shape them, mold them, parent them, and love them for Jesus’ sake. Our primary role is to lead children to become disciples of Christ.

            D. Teach The Younger Women To Be Discreet. (Vs 5)  
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
That is, sober-minded, self-controlled, disciplined, able to curb desires and emotions.

This means that young women are not to live a life of license either in the home or out in public: things such as partying, drinking, overeating, indulging in any sense of the word. She is to curb her desires and emotions.
   
            E. Teach The Younger Women To Be Chaste. (Vs 5)
               That is, pure morally and sexually; to be pure in thought and act.

            F. Teach The Younger Women To Be Keepers At Home. (Vs 6)
               Quite simply, they are to be taught to be homemakers.
No better exposition of this command could be given than that written by the preacher, the late Dr. Oliver B. Greene:
“This does not mean that the wife is never to go out of the home, never to take part in any outside interests; but she is not to neglect the duties of the home in order to participate in things outside the home. In other words, she is not to be better known outside the home than in the home, by her own husband and family. She is to be diligent at home—not lazy or slothful, not unconcerned about the home and the things pertaining thereto—but to give her best to the home, seeing that things are in order and that the home is kept as becomes a Christian. Young wives are not to omit their own duties and become ‘busybodies’ in others’ affairs…. She should keep that home clean, neat, and presentable. A young married woman with a baby and a home, if she does her duty, has a full time job.”
“Regardless of how much a mother may do outside the home, whatever self-denial and zeal she may contribute to outside interests, and regardless of how much good she may accomplish outside the home, if she neglects her home she has brought reproach upon Christianity. The duty of a Christian mother is first to her home, and these other interests must be secondary”
                        (The Epistles of Paul the Apostle to Timothy and Titus, p.444f).

            G. Teach The Younger Women To Be Good.
This means of the highest quality and character–virtuous through and through; kind, good natured and caring, with no vice, no dirt or pollution in her life. Teach her that she is to be pure and clean and of the highest character.

Teach her to be good to people, that is, kind and caring. Teach her not to be an idle person, going from house to house being a gossiper and busy body. Teach her to be purposeful, moving in and among people doing good, showing care and kindness, helping people wherever she can.

            H. Teach The Younger Women To Be Obedient To Their Own Husbands.
There is to be a partnership and order between men and women. Neither is independent of the other. Both are a part of the other, and the relationship that exists between them has come from God.

                        1. When God talks about man being the head of the woman, He is not talking about ability or worth, competence or value, brilliance or advantage.
 God is talking about function and order within an organization. Every organization has to have a head for it to be operated in an efficient and orderly manner.
 There are no greater organizations than God’s Christian family. Within God’s order of things there is a partnership, but every partnership must have a head, and God has ordained that man is the head of the partnership.

                        2. The great pattern for the wife to follow is that of Christ and the Church. Christ is the head of the church.

So it is with the husband; he is the head of the family, the ultimate authority in the family.

The wife is to be submissive to that authority. So long as she and the rest of the family live by this rule, the family experiences love, joy, and peace—orderliness—and it fulfills its function and purpose on earth. This, of course, assumes that the husband is fulfilling his part in the family. As in any organization, each member must do his part for the organization to be orderly and accomplish its purpose.

CONCLUSION:

I want you to note why the young women are to be taught how to live and behave as God says– that the Word of God will not be blasphemed, that is, dishonored, reproached and slandered.

The older women or the younger women who profess Christ but do not live for Him bring reproach upon God’s Word.

How so? It stirs the world to think within their minds:
 There must be no power in the Word of God, no power to change lives—no power to give love, joy, peace, and hope. There must be no advantage to believing Christ and to trusting the promises of God’s Word. The promises mean nothing to this hypocritical young woman—not enough to stir her to follow Christ. Therefore, there must be nothing to this thing called Christianity. The promises of the Word of God must be meaningless and powerless. They have made no difference in her life.

But note: this is not true. The Word of God is alive and powerful; it does change lives (Hebrews 4:12).

The problem is with some wives: they just…
• do not spend time in genuine study of God’s Word, learning how they are to live.

• do not spend time in genuine prayer, asking God to help them to live victorious lives over the temptations and trials of this life.

• do not discipline their lives nor control their tongues as the Word of God demands.

The result is, of course, the charge of hypocrisy, and the Word of God is reproached and slandered.

Being a Godly Mother in an Ungodly World isn’t an easy task, but it is attainable.

Are you godly? Are you saved?

Additional Reading